Tuesday, April 17, 2012
Monday, April 2, 2012
Self-awareness
Maybe many of you have done this yourself, but it's just unnerving when it happens. Being hyper aware of your...I'll say flaws, at least as you see them. To me it is unsettling if not unnerving.
One of the things I have said many times is that while I don't forget that I'm in a wheelchair, I don't focus on it or dwell upon it. Often times when wheeling in front of a full length mirror it catches me off guard when I see the wheelchair. It's hard to explain, but it's happened enough times that it must be a real phenomenon.
However, every once in a while I become super duper hyper aware that I am in a wheelchair, which makes me want to crawl right out of my skin. Do you remember the Southwest Airlines commercials showing different people in awkward situations and the tagline was "Want to get away?" That's exactly how I feel in those instances. Usually nothing precipitates this feeling. Or maybe it does and I'm just not aware. It usually seems to come out of the blue when I'm in a public place, even with company and it's like you can't get away fast enough. It feels like everyone is staring at you and noticing that I'm in a wheelchair and no matter what I do, it only makes people stare and notice more. Yes, I realize it's irrational, which makes it all the more unsettling.
Safely by myself now and breathing...MH
One of the things I have said many times is that while I don't forget that I'm in a wheelchair, I don't focus on it or dwell upon it. Often times when wheeling in front of a full length mirror it catches me off guard when I see the wheelchair. It's hard to explain, but it's happened enough times that it must be a real phenomenon.
However, every once in a while I become super duper hyper aware that I am in a wheelchair, which makes me want to crawl right out of my skin. Do you remember the Southwest Airlines commercials showing different people in awkward situations and the tagline was "Want to get away?" That's exactly how I feel in those instances. Usually nothing precipitates this feeling. Or maybe it does and I'm just not aware. It usually seems to come out of the blue when I'm in a public place, even with company and it's like you can't get away fast enough. It feels like everyone is staring at you and noticing that I'm in a wheelchair and no matter what I do, it only makes people stare and notice more. Yes, I realize it's irrational, which makes it all the more unsettling.
Safely by myself now and breathing...MH
Sunday, April 1, 2012
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