Fireworks and JMH, the two words go hand in hand. Through the years, JMH has had numerous Fourth of July celebrations. With today being that explosive holiday that happens once a year, what’s more fitting than an article on the TOP TEN JMH FOURTH OF JULY CELEBRATION MOMENTS?
Here we go…
NUMBER TEN
Matt’s addiction…Matt is a pyromaniac at heart. I discovered this the first time I ever stopped at a firework stand with him. We were coming back from a trip to Six Flags and we saw the classic Molly Brown Fireworks display. Matt had an idea of buying a number of fireworks and having one of our classic shing digs for the Fourth of July. I thought, why not? We stopped and entered the tent. I did not even know where to start. It was endless rows of rockets, exploding boxes, spinaroonees, and sparklers. I looked at Matt and I saw a fire in that boy’s eyes. A fire that both intrigued and frightened me. I remember Matt pointing out the sign above the entrance, “Buy ONE, get THREE free.” I remember a lady asking if we would like a basket and I remember Matt shaking his head no and pointing to the corner of the tent. “I’ll need one of those.” It was a flatbed cart like you would find at Lowe’s to haul your carpentry materials to the check out. Matt was like a Catholic during Good Friday at an all you can eat fish fry, tossing firework after firework onto the flatbed. I remember telling him I didn’t know how much I could afford. He looked at me and winked, “I got this PAL!” I remember having to drag him out and him screaming the entire way, “But it’s buy ONE and get THREE free Jeremy!” We did put a hell of a show on that year!
NUMBER NINE
The PUNK…After several years of our firework events, Matt and I were introduced to the PUNK, a stick that would burn slowly and you could use it to light numerous fireworks from a safer distance. We had several of these lying around as they were given to us in bulk for free with our purchase. While we were lighting fireworks, a friend of ours, Shane, decided he was going to light some sparklers. Grabbing a stack of the PUNKS instead, Shane sat down with a lighter and began to light one. After several minutes of complaining and yelling about duds, Matt and I walked over to see what the commotion was. It was then that we broke the news to Shane that he was not holding a pile of sparklers but a pile of PUNKS. PUNK became the running joke that Fourth of July.
NUMBER EIGHT
Gross…One year when we purchased fireworks from the St. Louis area, they had a promotion. For every $50 you spent, you received a GROSS of bottle rockets. For those of you who don’t know how much a GROSS is, a GROSS is 144 of an item. Well, Matt and I spent up into the triple digits that year and walked away with right under 1000 bottle rockets. What does one do with a GROSS of bottle rockets? Not much really, but we learned right away that setting one off at a time was not going to go over too well. Now tying as many as you could together and setting them off simultaneously, that was much more entertaining. That year’s record was about 20 bottle rockets if I remember correctly, and I bet if you check with Matt he still may have a GROSS or two bottle rockets left from that year.
NUMBER SEVEN
Indianapolis Drift…Coming back from Indianapolis and Lolapalooza, Metallica had played there that year, Matt and I saw a sign for a fireworks stand. Not slowing down or taking the time to notify me of his quick witted decision, Matt decided to turn around in the interstate u turn lane. With traffic right behind him and only slowing down to about 55 mph, Matt moved into the left hand lane, jerked the wheel, and we slid into the u turn lane and drifted onto the other side of the interstate, heading back into the direction of the stand. Paul Havrilka was in a vehicle behind us following us home and tried to complete the same maneuver almost ditching his vehicle in the process. Wow, what JMH will do for some killer fireworks.
NUMBER SIX
Black Cat Attack…Once, we hid a strip of about 5000 Black Cat fireworks on Matt’s mother’s clothesline. While everyone was watching the show in front of them, I snuck around back and lit the fuse. You should have seen everyone scatter as the fireworks went off! Funny for us, but not so much for our viewers. I remember having to watch my back for the rest of the night. Several threats were being made of throwing me into the pool. Yeah, never happened!
NUMBER FIVE
Misfire…One year, Matt and I were setting off fireworks in his field. We had put all the fireworks in the bed of his truck and were taking them out of there as we went to shoot them off. A stray Screaming Me Me decided to change its predetermined course as it flew out of a box and landed in the bed of the truck with the rest of the fireworks…and Matt and me. As it exploded, Matt and I dove under the truck and covered our heads praying to God for our safety and the remainder of our show. Luckily, the Screaming Me Me did not set any other fireworks off and our display was saved. We finished our show that night vowing to never store our fireworks in the back of the truck so close to Ground Zero again.
NUMBER FOUR
Fireballs…After years of searching, Matt and I came across what we called the fireball firework. Small, round, and with a long wick, this firework gave the most bang for the buck as it provided the image of a professional firework display. The first time we bought some, we didn’t know what to expect. I remember unwrapping the container and setting up the tube. I laughed to Matt about the long wick and placed the ball into the tube. I turned to Matt, “Why do you think the wick is so long?” With that, I lit it. It was the fastest fuse I had ever seen. Picture cartoon gunpowder left on the ground as Wile E. Coyote leads a trail of it out of the cavern, lights it, and watches in excitement as the Road Runner is about to exploded to thousands of pieces. That’s how fast it was. I was barely able to pull my face back as the ball shot out of the tube with a deep “thunk” and exploded almost twenty feet into the night sky, a streak of red about ten feet across. I turned to Matt. “That,” Matt said, “Would be why it has a long fuse!”
NUMBER THREE
Fireballs II…We had picked up some fireworks and loaded up on our favorites…the fireballs. They were round with an extremely long wick and they came with a tube to launch them with. Once propelled into the air, they would explode and really give off the appearance of a gigantic real professional firework. They were very cool, and not really expensive compared to some of the other options out there. Matt and I were setting some off and we were trying to time them simultaneously. While Matt was setting his off, I was fumbling around trying to find my lighter. In the process, I knocked over the tube and when I went to retrieve it, I grabbed an already used firework thinking it was the tube for the fireball. I dropped the ball in and lit the fuse. The ball shot up and out only about two feet with a “thunk” and then fell to the ground in front of us! I ran at Matt yelling “Firework down!” like a scene from a war movie and a dropped grenade. I threw Matt to the ground just as the firework exploded. Sparks flew everywhere all over the ground. It was then that we noticed the warning on the pack stating to only use the tube provided for launching. That night, I learned that fireworks are much more impressive in the night sky than on the grassy ground.
NUMBER TWO
The Dime…Matt and I were doing a fireworks display out of the back of his truck. We didn’t have any matches or lighters so we were using his cigarette lighter to ignite the fireworks. I pushed the lighter in and it popped out red hot. I glanced into the console area and noticed something down in the hole that housed the lighter. Inside appeared to be a dime! I turned to Matt totally baffled and excited and said, “Matt, there is a dime stuck down in there!” Without thinking and before Matt could stop me, I poked my finger down into the hole to fish out the coin. The tip of my index finger encounter the hottest temperature I had ever experienced. I screamed and pulled back. There on the tip of my finger, was a perfectly singed portrait of President Roosevelt. I remember putting my finger in the DQ cup that sat in the cup holder, the remainder of the grape Mister Misty soothing my pain a bit. To this day, if you look hard enough, you can still make out the President on the tip of my finger.
NUMBER ONE
The Entrance… Our first fireworks display consisted of a grand entrance, we came barreling into the area in Matt’s Black Ford Ranger, Jimi Hendrix’s version of the Star Spangled Banner blaring over his speakers, and Matt and I hanging out the windows with Roman Candles in our hands shooting them off. AWESOME visual, eh? Classic moment in JMH history that I will never be able to get out of my mind.
As I stated earlier, fireworks and JMH go hand in hand. As you strolled down memory lane with us this Fourth of July, ask yourself this question. When JMH decides to bring back the firework celebration in 2014, will you be there? I can guarantee, it will be something memorable!
Happy Fourth of July everyone.
That’s nice…JM.
