Murderball - "It sucks"

Not only do these words sum up what I think about this documentary, but was also the most "real" words spoken and the most real scene in this documentary based on the rivalry between the USA and Canadian Quad Rugby teams.

It comes from Keith, who wasn't part of either team, but was a focus of the documentary. A side story that was pulled in for support. Keith was paralyzed in a Motorcross accident and after some shots of him in rehab the cameras followed him home.

One particular shot captured Keith as he was seeing his modified bedroom and bathroom at home for the first time. After looking for some time at his closet which has been opened up, the bottom shelves removed so he can wheel inside closer and his shower which has been modified with a shower chair inside, he deadpans "It sucks." His mother thinking he wasn't satisfied with the modifications made to the house started to defend them. "It's really nice," she said. Keith interjects "it sucks! My life is never going to be the same and it sucks, so could you just give me a minute?" Keith pleads with his mom and girlfriend.

For all of the things I dislike about this movie, this particular scene was very poignant for me. You see, in my opinion, Keith's mom wasn't trying to make him snap, she loved him so much that she was trying to do whatever she could to make things better for him. I think that's the hardest part for those close to you. Understanding what they can and more importantly can't do to make things better.

I can't speak for Keith, but for myself, I know there have been times when no matter what someone said it made things worse. It wasn't their fault, it was simply the state of mind I was in at the time. Sometimes you have to "give me a minute" for my brain to process that I'm no longer "the same." I need to a moment to cope with the fact that no matter what is said, no matter what comforting words are spoken, no matter how much love they are said with and not matter how much truth is behind those words, my life is different now and "IT SUCKS!"

I know that people aren't trying to set me off and maybe it's a design flaw in my DNA, but at those points in time the best thing to do is be quiet. If you say "it will be ok," I'm thinking "easy for you to say, you are going to be walking out this room in a minute." If you say "this sucks," I'm thinking "easy for you to say, you are going to be walking out of this room in a minute."

It was an important scene to me and I thought I would share. I am having a flight of ideas right now and need to organize them better before I type further.

MH