Anyway, I know that I went off on some deep of task timeline here, so back to the adventures of JMH. We were at the verge of discovering the historic safe. The safe that had plagued our childhood dreams growing up filling our heads with some crazy conception that we would have some buried treasure on our hands. It sort of reminded me of the movie The Goonies when I saw and viewed it for the first time. Though I knew deep down that there would be no huge pirate ship in my back yard creek, I still went looking for it. There was still some ounce of hope even after I did not find anything. To this day there still is an ounce of hope that I will find it somehow, somewhere. The same thing went for that safe that was supposed to be in the attic of this house. Deep down inside I knew it was not going to be there, but Matt and I just kept searching and searching.
Standing at the top of that staircase in the Bird House I was overcome by emotion. Everything was leading up to this one moment in time. It was either going to pay off for us or we would go down in flames and defeat. I looked around the top of that attic, my eyes were adjusted quit well to the dimly lit area. My eyes swept the area going back and forth and back and forth looking for any sign of the legendary beloved safe. Even though it was dark and dusty, I knew that the safe was not there. Matt was right. We had fallen victim to another urban legend and story. It was not true. We had failed.
We left the Bird House that day with a sense of satisfaction though we had been defeated. Even though we had not found the legendary safe and had fallen short in becoming rich quick, we had gained two things from our adventure. One, we had put the legend of the safe to rest. Everyone had taken the time out to talk about the legend and even took the time out to drive by the location, but no one to our knowledge had had the guts to go into the questioned location and seek out and see if any part of the legend itself held water. We had done that and had done it successfully. Second, we had grown stronger as friends. We had been thrown into a stressful situation and what we thought could have been a life or death situation and come out ahead and in one piece. We even had the video itself to prove and show to everyone. We still get that tape out from time to time to watch it. Though vulgar in language, it still is fun to watch and as funny now as it was then.
Now even though we had failed at this historic quest, it did not prevent us from going out and trying to find other supernatural and crazy things. We checked out another ancient house near our homes once that was surrounded in corn fields. We had to park Matt’s truck at the time in a nearby ditch and walk through miles of corn to get through to the location of the structure. I was wearing some cheap version of a Fedora Indiana Jones style hat and I was taking on the role as the legendary explorer. Matt was following behind me with the video camera calling me Indiana. I kept yelling at him that I was not Indiana Jones, but Illinois Mays. He got a kick out of making fun of me over the course of this time period.
We searched this home not really going to it for any purpose. There was no story about a lost treasure nor were there any real tales about anything supernatural happening on the property itself. We just always passed the place and thought it looked cool and would be neat to check out the inside of the place before something happened to it.
It was a common thing in our neck of the woods for abandoned structures such as this house to be there one minute and gone the next. The common way these abandoned places would disappear was by fire. A great deal of time the fires were never explained but everyone knew it had to be done by some foolish teenagers exploring the homes and performing séances or using candles of some kind. These tragic events happened to both old homesteads of my great grandmother. One was the house I discussed earlier with the piano. It was a common hot spot for local teens looking for some ghost in the attic part of the house. Someone even went upstairs and poured fake blood on some old clothes to contribute to the effect. This house mysteriously burnt down one evening and we never figured out what caused it. The other home was actually the one my great grandmother lived in, the home we had Thanksgiving Dinner in every year. She eventually had to move out after years of living on her own after my great grandfather passed away. She went to live with her daughter, my grandmother, in a trailer in Woodlawn leaving her house vacant. Over the years, people continued to invade the property stealing all sorts of items. Eventually one evening, a cop of some sort was passing by on the interstate and saw lights from a vehicle pulling out of the property. He knew the property itself to be vacant so he called my father who lived right up the road. By the time my father got down there, the whole building was in flames and eventually burnt completely except for the chimney. Later, evidence was found during the investigation of the fire that revealed someone had been using the kitchen sink to cook Meth. The nerve of some people. My great grandfather probably rolled over in his grave when this happened.
Matt and I never took part in such things as trespassing with the intent to destroy, it really angered us when things did take place because it gave all of us teenagers a bad name. Matt and I had always wanted to look in the house beyond the corn so one day we had decided we were brave enough to attempt it and decided to follow through.
What did we find you ask? Pretty much the same thing as we found in the confinements of the Bird House except for the crazed animal…pretty much nothing. We did encounter some cool old magazines in the attic and saw a weird hole in the side of the attic wall that was enveloped in complete darkness. It actually sounded as if someone or something was in that darkness breathing. We did not stick around very long to find out either way. We did have fun once again and enjoyed each other’s company. Matt did a crazy thing with the camera each time I turned around. When I could not see him and had my back to him, he would take his hand and act like his hand was an animal and it was pecking the back of my head. When I would turn to look at him, say something to him, or simply respond to something he had said, he would back up and act like nothing had even happened. Pretty childish huh? Pretty funny on video! I did not have a clue that he was doing it until I watched the film for myself. Other than that, nothing exciting happened to us, no life changing events or attacks by supernatural creatures or beings.
From there, Matt and I sought out some ancient and old barns. While there, we found some old run down bikes. Not just a few, but a great deal! It was almost as if it was some sort of bicycle graveyard there. It was a little freaky.
The other thing involved Matt climbing to the top of a hay loft in one of the barns. Matt has an extreme fear of heights and for some reason he decided he needed to check out the hay loft in the barn for anything out of the ordinary. Again, nothing was found, but it was the event in getting Matt down that the excitement set in.
Realistically, the loft was only about eight feet off the ground. I could stand underneath the loft and jump up and reach the loft itself. Well, to Matt, if it is eight feet, you might as well be talking about one hundred feet off the ground. When he was up there walking around and throwing old hay on me and the camera, it was fun to him and an okay experience. When it was time to get down, it became a feat of impossibility.
He sat over the edge and yelled at me to go get help that there was no way for him to get safely to the ground. I kept trying to get him to simply jump ,but again, it was if he was over one hundred feet in the air and the feat was an impossible one. I stood back and watched himself wrap his legs around the wooden banister and lower himself slowly down. I felt bad for laughing but it was just so damn hilarious! I could not contain the emotion of humor that was overwhelming me at the time. And you know what was the best part of the situation? I got the whole thing on tape. To watch and enjoy over and over and over and over. Some day I want to put all of these events on a DVD that way I can pause this specific incident for everyone to get a close view of his face of fear. I am chuckling to myself now thinking about it. Ha, Ha!
The final event that stands out in my mind during our supposed ghost hunting involves Matt and his Panty Bomb. We had left the barn and the one hundred foot high drop and went up the road to the Underpass. This was a well known location in the area that we had grown up in. Everyone in the area had sought this place out to drive through at night because like any other underpass at night, it is pretty dark and scary. Besides that, all sorts of stories had grown up in the area about it being some portal to Hell or something crazy like that.
Well, Matt and I knew better because we had been in the thing numerous times and never encountered the Devil or a simple demon for that matter. What we did encounter and view was all of the spray painted artwork that graced the inside and outside of the Underpass. It was at this underpass that Matt decided he would climb up to the top and stand in front of the interstate for a video shot. Not wanting to look like the idiot myself, I supported his decision and stood back to tape the event at hand.
He climbed slowly, again taking his time because the situation involved a matter of heights. This was a great deal taller than the barn he had just come down from and I do not think he realized that until he got half way up the incline. Besides, the camera was rolling and he did not want to look bad on film. Who does for that matter?
He climbed and I taped. When he got to the top, he stopped, turned around and paused to contemplate his accomplishment. That was when I realized the camera was not on. I did not have the heart to tell him and just continued to act as if I was taping. I could have stopped right there and started filming for real, but I knew Matt would notice and the fact I missed his great assent would hurt his feelings. So I just decided to play it cool.
When he got done taking the time to revel in his assent to the top of the mountain, or should I say to the top of Underpass Hill, Matt glanced down onto the side of the road. Now, you all have driven down the interstate at some time or another and either done one of two things. One, you threw some sort of odd object or trash out of your window. Two, seen some sort of odd object or trash outside of your window. Now, Matt was in the similar circumstance here, but he was more up close and personal. He was basically standing on the side of the interstate at that moment when his eyes caught something odd on the road before him. A pair of pink panties!
Now, I really can not say what in the heck impulsed Matt to stop everything in the world around him and pick up those nasty things, but he did. He did not even seem to give it a second thought. He noticed them, said, “What’s this?”, then bent down and picked them up standing up in a full standing position holding them up to his face for closer inspection. At first I thought he had found some sort of prize or money even, the way he was entranced by the item in his hands. I took the time to take my eye away from the camera and fake videoing taping to get a closer view at what my friend had in his hand. I was extremely taken aback by what I saw. Matt was really an intelligent individual, he knew better than to pick up some stranger’s underwear up, especially off the side of the interstate.
“Look!” he said as he began to fling it in the air. “Look what I found!” For a minute I got the image from the movie Invasion of the Body Snatchers. This was not my friend. Matt did not act this way. Someone, maybe in the loft of the barn we had just come out of, had switched places with Matt and taken over his life. Someone who looked like Matt but sure as heck did not act like Matt.
“What in the hell are you doing?” I called out to him. That was when he started flinging his arms uncontrollably and began to dance around. Again, I was worried he was having some sort of seizure or something. What in the heck was going on? “Matt!” I called out to him trying to get his attention. He stopped and looked in my direction. That was when I think he decided to join me back in the realm of reality.
“Jeremy!” he said holding out the under wear from his body like some sort of unwanted prize your dog would bring into the house and place in your lap after you let it out to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night. “There are ants all over this thing!”
“Well get rid of it!” I yelled.
I saw Matt then realize how stupid he was being for hanging on to the object. Why was he doing it? Who is to say. Even after the fact and talking with him about the moment, he still can not give me or himself a rationale that makes sense for what he was doing up there holding ant infested panties that belonged to a complete stranger. Maybe he just got caught up in the moment. I mean, figuratively, haven’t we all been on the side of an interstate somewhere in our lifetime and held up a pair of ant infested panties? Well, okay, now that I put that into words on my computer screen it does not seem that I should have shared that phrase just that way, but I think you all get what I am getting act. Right? Moving on….
Matt moved to the side of the edge of the overpass looking over the road below. I moved closer because in the far reaches of the back of my mind I was beginning to fear that he was contemplating jumping or something stupid. Ordinarily this thought would not have crossed my mind, but ordinarily Matt would not pick up a pair of strange panties either. I was almost underneath him when he began to throw his arms out again wildly.
“Move back!” He screamed. “Get back!” I did as I was told and I watched as he held the pink panties out from his chest dangling them over the road below. Then at the top of his lungs he screamed. He screamed two words that still haunt me to this day. He screamed, “Panty Bomb!” Then he let the underwear go and it fell to the street below. Looking up at him, he was viewing the underwear on the road with a smile of satisfaction. I remember thinking how weird this moment was. Then I thought I would mess with him for a moment. I looked off to the right of the interstate and raised my voice.
“Cop!” I said pointing to the right even though there was not a cop in sight. “There’s a cop coming!”
Matt almost tripped over himself as he made his way to the edge of the bank. As he stumbled, he took the time to look in the direction that I had indicated the protector of peace was coming from. Not seeing anything, he then realized what I was trying to do. “Cop? That ain’t no freaking cop!” He then slowed his pace to a casual walk down the side of the embankment and then punched me in the arm. I moved back not wanting his hands on me until he had the opportunity to carefully and properly have them sanitized.
“Did you get all of that on tape?” He asked. I looked at him and then I knew that I could not lie.
“I am sorry.” I said. “I forgot to hit record.”
He looked at me and then looked back at the overpass. “You mean you missed my Panty Bomb?”
I nodded. “Yeah. I just did not have the heart to tell you.”
He shook his head. “Then get the camera ready.” He was making his way towards the underwear. “We are going to do it again.
And we did.
Needless to say, the Panty Bomb and the cop joke did not have the same affect this time, but we still watch this video with fondness and think about the joyous times as we went out searching for the supernatural, the unknown, and ghosts. Though we did not encounter any of these things per say, we did find something that a great deal of people spend their whole lives searching for. We found each other. Over the course of these events we began to get closer than we had ever been before. Little did I know that we would even grow to become even closer.
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