The summer months are always concert time, especially as a young adult. JMH used to live for concert season. The summer 15 years ago was no different. It was 15 years ago this month that JM and I decided to travel to Indianapolis for Lollapalooza, the biggest music festival of its time. The year was 1996. That of course was the year that Metallica was headlining and so we thought it would be a great time to experience the music fest.
JM and I took 4 other guys with us to show them a good time. We drove over the night before so we could be there first thing in the morning. We were going to have a good time, but the weather was sweltering. No clouds and the sun felt like it was about an inch from your skin. I remember it was just so hot and this was going to be a long day. Music started around 12N and Metallica wouldn't be taking the stage until around 8. Since we were on a budget and let's face it, "events" like these needs to be experienced from the grass, we had just purchased general admission lawn seats.
Along with Metallica, Soundgarden, Ramones, Rancid, Shaolin Monks (seriously, I can't make that up), Screaming Trees and Psychotica would be on the main stage. There was also a side stage and an indie stage around the venue where concert goers could take in such acts as Soul Coughing, Sponge and Korn.
In addition, there would always be a "secret" special guest at each concert that would take the main stage. This was before there was only one date a year in Chicago, so as the concert made its way around the country, each stop would have its own special guest star. In 1996 special guests included, Rage Against the Machine, Devo, 311, Cheap Trick and Wu-Tang Clan among others. Any of these would have been appropriate and matched the vibe that was going on that day.
So now it's time for the "secret" special guest star to appear. Please keep in mind that a band named Rancid just left the stage, Rancid! The emcee comes out and starts addressing the crowd, it went something like this, "and now please welcome Waylon Jennings." Say what?
Waylon "Freaking" Jennings! Now don't get me wrong, I love Waylon, but not in this setting or venue. JM turned to me as I turned to him, we just instantly knew, this was going to turn ugly. We both said a few choice words I'm sure and begin discussing our options. It was as if someone flipped a switch and 30,000 very hot and extremely drunk and rowdy concert goers decided to take out all of their frustration at once. They wanted Rage or 311, but was getting Waylon Jennings!
Had it just been JM and I, everything would've been ok, but we had kids with us. Kids whose moms and dads had entrusted us with their well-being. Now granted, it wasn't their wisest choice in life, but still it was the one they made and I know we both took the responsibility seriously. We started rounding the other 4 up, especially Snyder. He was the tiniest of the group and would be easy pickings if not protected.
We quickly reviewed with all of them how serious this situation could be and they derided us as being "old" and parent like, but still they listened and they stayed close.
Now the mayhem started with bottles being thrown. Ok, no big deal, we can handle that, but it quickly escalated into other things being thrown; lawn chairs and coolers. Coolers? I didn't even know coolers could be brought in, but there they were high in the air and starting to collect their victims. Security started coming through the lawn to settle everyone down, but they were quickly outnumbered and became invisible from our perspective.
As if on a timer, clouds instantly developed and it started pouring down rain. I'm not talking a sprinkle or a steady rain. I'm talking about the clouds opening up and letting loose, just like all of these angry people were. It was coming down so hard, that the grass didn't stand a chance and the lawn area quickly became a mud pit. The lawn area suddenly became just one large mosh pit, with everyone slamming into everyone. Mosh pits are one thing and JM and I had been in our share of pits, but this was different. It was angrier in all sorts of ways.
It was about this time that I see the first human flying through the air. It took me a second to realize what was going on, but a group had decided to use their blanket as a make-shift trampoline. Several guys took hold of the blanket and started launching people. Not for good natured fun, but for the sole purpose of seeing how far they could make someone fly. It didn't take long for other groups to start copycatting this procedure and people were flying everywhere.
JM and I grabbed the guys and started moving for even higher ground. Getting towards the fence, at least that way we wouldn't get sniped from behind and would have the action in front of us. I begin praying for safety and guidance. What should we do, where should we go? I prayed that we could at least manage to stay long enough to hear the Theme from The Dukes of Hazzard. I know, priorities, right? But being a huge Dukes fan (yes, I've always been this way) I just had to hear Waylon sing it.
I don't remember how long Waylon's set was, it seemed like it lasted forever. The crowd was moving ever closer to our position. The lawn had become one big mud slide. People were sliding everywhere. On purpose! People were starting to throw mud at each other. Mud! Big handfuls of mud, just being launched at others. You could see people were bloody with faces cut, torn clothes and more. It was ugly and getting harder and harder to avoid getting seriously injured or at the very least mud covered.
And then it happened. The skies parted, the sun came out and Waylon started singing "Just two good old boys, never meaning no harm." The crowd stopped dead in their tracks. The flip had been switched off, they suddenly realized that there was still a concert going on and they all started singing. "Beats all you ever saw, been in trouble with the law since the day they was born."
I turned to JM and said, "Thank God for the Dukes of Hazzard!" Yee-haw. We had made it through the storm and lived, plus we had a story for the ages. The story of how we were saved by The Dukes of Hazzard.
That's nice...MH
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