The High School Years Chapter 2.2

Chapter 2.2

The High School Years

Senior year also contained our first ruts and tests of our friendship. Matt and I are both competitive individuals. We have to be the best at what we do and we do usually anything within our own powers to attain that title. Matt and I ended up having first hour PE class together, which ended up being both a blessing and a curse. One of the cool and weird aspects of the class was it only contained straight seniors and straight freshman students. This was just asking for trouble if you ask me. Though I remembered how I was treated as a freshman and vowed not to make the same inhumane mistakes on my fellow man, a little teasing would not hurt that much…could it?

Matt and I had a blast in that class. Playing sports and just hanging out acting like guys. The down side was his girlfriend Karen was also in the class with us. We still got to act up though in the locker room area or when the class would be divided and Karen would not be part of the activity we were a part of.

One of the things we would do in the locker room was just down right crazy, but this exhibits one of Matt’s greatest traits…his supreme sense of strength! Every day, Matt and I would case the locker room talking to the freshman students looking for what we called a “subject”. This “subject” was Matt’s test for the day. What Matt would do was take the student, place one hand on his upper chest region and the other hand near his crotch region, then press the student up above his head. The guerilla press! We would guess how many times Matt would be able to press each student and then he would go for it and we would all see how close we were to our estimates. Matt never hurt anyone and he would always place the kid down unharmed with a huge smile and a pat on the back. He pressed every freshman student in the locker room that year. His greatest challenge however was the great John Pas.

During this time period, Matt had gained a bit of weight going into his senior year. He was still under six feet tall but weighed well over 200 pounds. Now he was large in stature, but surprisingly most of his bulk seemed to be actual muscle. This was why he was able to press all of the freshmen over his head well with ease. Johnny Pass was another story entirely.

Johnny pretty much equaled Matt in size and stature, but his mass was not muscle, but rolling, areas of fat. Seeing Johnny during PE on that day, I knew this was a test of true strength, something that Matt needed to attempt. So I picked out his challenge.

I never will forget the look on Matt’s face when I pointed to Johnny and said “Him.” His mouth dropped open and his face almost turned pale sheet white. Usually no one paid any attention to our tests of strength, but this particular one caught everyone’s attention rather quickly. All eyes were upon Matt. I almost felt bad for putting him in such a predicament. There was no backing down now, it had to be done.

Matt grabbed the clavicle area of Johnny with one hand and his crotch with the other. He let out an inhumane grunt and pushed Johnny into the air. At first, the enormous freshman seemed to waiver, I knew someone was going to get hurt. Then I saw Matt close his eyes as he began to concentrate on the situation. Up Johnny rose and I watched in awe as Matt began to press him one of three separate times. Matt set Johnny down rather quickly bending over and resting his hands upon his knees. He did not give the usual pat on the back, but gave Johnny a smile and let off some sarcastic comment about him having to do his part by laying off the double cheeseburgers in the future. Everyone in the locker room erupted in applause and laughter and left to finish getting dressed to return to class.

It was not until everyone was out of the area that Matt finally let in on just how much pain he was in. I helped him over to the bench and watched as he struggled to take off his PE clothes. Now again, you the reader are probably thinking I stepped in here being the true friend that I am and helped him get dressed. Wrong! I waited until he was completely in his under wear, immobile from the pain, and then snapped a picture with the camera I had hidden in my locker. Why did I have a camera? I do not really remember, but it was in there and I found an excellent use for it so I took it. Matt threatened to kill me then, but I ran laughing. I still have that picture and show it too him from time to time. The sad thing is when he turned to look at the camera, he actually gave me a huge smile. Little did he know he was actually cheesing for the camera!

Another time that really stood out during our senior year was during the Homecoming Dance. Matt was up for Homecoming King and was a part of the coronation ceremony. Homecoming coronation is a huge thing in Woodlawn, the entire population and local population all attend and watch in awe at the ceremony at hand. I was attending in support of my best friend, not aware just how much support was going to be needed.

At the time Matt was driving a vehicle we referred to as Big Blue. I am not sure of the exact make and model of the truck, but I do recall that it was enormous monster style truck that was pale blue in color. It was also loud enough to hear coming for miles and sucked gas like it was going out of style. When Matt would drive the truck to school from his home, he would actually have to go ahead and drive into Mt. Vernon after school got out to purchase gas to have enough in his tank to get back home and then back to school the next morning. Big Blue did not stay around very long before Matt switched to a little more fuel cost beneficial Ford Ranger. But at the time of the event involving Homecoming, Big Blue was still his primary source of transportation.

Matt had pulled into the parking lot that night fully dressed in his tuxedo and ready to accompany his partner and date Karen into the coronation ceremony. It had rained a little that day and numerous pockets of mud puddles were scattered all over the high school’s parking lot. Matt, unaware of his exact location because he was unable to scout much of his lower surroundings due to the size of his vehicle, parked Big Blue directly within the center of a large mud puddle. He put his vehicle in park and opened his door. He stepped out into the parking lot not looking down before doing so. What he found was a huge, deep, wet mud hole. The water extended almost to his right knee cap covering the leg of his black tuxedo pants with a tremendous splash of mud. He jumped clear of the puddle the best that he could but still managed to get some of the mud on his left leg as well.

Of course Karen was in the truck with him and when she climbed out and came around to his side of the vehicle she almost had a heart attack and died at that instant in the parking lot. Of course she was not primarily concerned with how Matt looked. No by no means, she was more concerned by how this was going to make her look. Matt felt horrible.

Lucky for him, Matt’s mother had pulled into the parking lot behind them and witnessed the entire situation. She moved Matt into the high school as quickly as possible, the ceremony was to begin within the half hour. This is when I ran into them.

Matt’s mother ushered us down the hallway and we found an empty classroom at the end of the hall. We all went inside.

“Take off your pants.” This was a weird request coming from his mom but he concurred. “I’m going to take these to the bathroom and wash them the best that I can. You stay here and I’ll bring them back.”

At that point, both his date Karen and his mother Karen left to wash the pants in the bathroom. Matt began to become himself as he stood there in his upper portion of his tuxedo, his underwear, and his black socks. He began to dance around giving his best (or should I say worst) impersonations of Michael Jackson and his Moonwalk move to John Travolta and his classic Staying Alive dance. I just stood back and laughed.

“You are just jealous because you don’t have the moves and the abilities I do.” He said as he danced on the newly waxed floor in his dress socks. I looked and watched as he moved and backed closer and closer to the door. I couldn’t resist.

“Oh really?” I said as I made my way towards him. He nodded in agreement.

“I am a dancing machine! Owwww!” I watched as he threw both hands in the air as Rocky Balboa did in the scenes from Rocky when he reached the top of the stairs in Philadelphia after his training montages. He had to pay for his narcissism.

I am not really sure what made me to do it, nor am I entirely sure what was going through my mind at the time. But I approached him as he spun to face the door with his back to me and I pushed.

Now, it was bad enough that I was pushing him on a slick floor and he was in black dress socks, but Matt put his hands out in defense and they landed upon the door handle. The handle he caught stopped his fall, but for only a matter of moments. It was then that the door handle twisted and his weight forced the door open. Matt spilled out onto the hallway floor with a sickening thud, spread eagle whitie tities.

What happened then seemed to occur in slow motion. I realized what I had done and moved as quickly as I could, but I felt as if I was tredging through hot melting wax like those characters were doing in the end of the House of Wax remake (not really sure why I used this simile here just that I am watching the movie now as I type). When I managed to get to the door I stuck my head out hoping that no one had noticed Matt and the terrible situation he or I had gotten himself into. I look down the hall and was relieved. A number of people in dress clothing were down the hall lined up at the one soda machine in the whole high school campus. They had not noticed him yet. I had time. I reached out for both of his ankles and grabbed on. I set to pull him in like a fisherman would pull in a prize catch. Then the noise came. The sound of laughter erupted and fled down the hall towards my ears and Matt’s.

I looked down the hall. Everyone that had been distracted by the soda machine had now turned their attentions toward the scene I was participating in down at the end of the hallway. They were all pointing and laughing hysterically. I finally broke my sudden paralysis and pulled Matt back into the room. He slid easily across the wax floor, his exposed stomach making a sickening squeak that permeated up the hall. I shut the door behind him.

Matt looked at me with an evil look. It was the second time in my life that I knew I was going to suffer and die. Die a very painful and agonizing death. The other time was when I had encounter Stoney and his regiment of Heads that I had described earlier. But I knew I had survived that incident and thought that I would surely survive this one as well. I opened my mouth to apologize, but was cut off by a sound so odd at the time, but relaxing and relieving at the same time. Matt was laughing!

I found the noise to be contagious. I really couldn’t help myself and I joined in. Soon, his mom was knocking out the door and came in with his pants, clean and ready to go. I stuck around to help him get into them and then went to the coronation. Matt did not get King that night, but again, such an incident made him a King in my book.